Pastoral Ponderings— A Mother’s Hopes
I always struggle as a preacher with Mothers Day, not because I don’t like it or anything like that, but it’s one of those days in which we can accidently open raw wounds when we’re trying to celebrate something wonderful. Turns out most families don’t look much like Hallmark movie families—they’re only FICTION! Who’d of ever thunk it?
Years ago when I was a jr. preacher on a larger church staff, working largely with the youth group, I stumbled into this reality through a wonderful, gentle woman, forgiving of a young preachers’ mistakes. She was one of the important adults helping to lead the youth group I worked with, not because she was a youth parent, but specifically because she wasn’t—at least not in the expected way.
Though they tried desperately, she and her husband were never able to have kids. Yet in her praying through this painful ordeal, she found both comfort and a vital purpose in realizing that in not having kids of her own, she could have a whole lot more time and energy to be the youth group mom who was always there and available–not just for two or three or an handful such as she might have of her own kids–but over the years, she had been able to be that kind of mom for hundreds!
The wounding can come from many other sources as well—the loss of a child, being the child of a mother who was far from the loving soul God called her to be, hearing of wonderful stories of OTHER situations, when your kid is in prison or worse, or may just never have the capacity to be the child of a mom’s dreams.
We should certainly celebrate the moms who have meant so much to us—whether from biology or other processes. But please celebrate with the prayerful understanding that the glowing pictures of motherhood are much more common in fiction than in peoples’ realities that are too often shaped by wounding and loss rather than joy.
And when your high calling of motherhood hits bumps or loss—pray that God will help you find ways IN your woundedness, to still be a blessing for others—perhaps even others going through similar crises. Keep being a blessing in whatever way you can!
Pastor Jim